I'm too old for this

So I arrived back in Connecticut early this morning. What a trip it was!

I sat on the tarmac waiting for the airshow to finish. A very large, bigoted man from Montana sat next to me and talked to me for five straight hours. Well, he really didn't sit next to me. He sat on me. On my left arm and leg for five hours, with the exception of his three minute bathroom break.

Then, my "nonstop" flight made a landing in Nashville to pick-up more passengers and thankfully drop-off the man from Montana who described himself as "somewhere to the right on Hitler and the left of Cheney." Seriously, that is a quote. My mum told me that if I don't have something nice to say then I shouldn't say anything. I did not reply to that comment or many others like them.

Now that I have visited Vegas Baby, I thought that I should pass along a few suggestions to others who may be traveling there.

First, do not try to look cute and rock the 1978 large hoops, sunglasses and ponytail look while riding the roller coaster on top of NY NY. Your sunglasses will rise off of you, hit you in the face and proceed to fall somewhere on the Vegas strip. Probably smashing into a million pieces. You head will be tossed around like a baby doll's and your earlobes will rip. Fun huh?

Second, do not promise your kids wonderful gifts from Vegas. Personally I found a child-sized bedazzled shirt that read "bitch" and a pink princess shot glass. Stick with the snow globes. Ironic that it doesn't snow in Vegas.

Lastly, expect to see people drinking in bars at 8:00am. Coming from a state rich in blue laws, this one shocked me. Am I a real prude or does it seem fairly disgusting to anyone else to wake-up and instantly walk to a bar to grab a whiskey?

I'm home now. Kids have been snuggled all day. The smoke has been washed out of my clothes and hair. And I am sleeping in my own bed. Coming home can be the best part of the trip.

Viva Las Vegas

This is my first remote post. No, I'm not in my living room. I'm in Vegas Baby!

Hubby is on a business trip, so I thought that I would jump on the trip with him. Grandparents were lined up, extra meals were made and schedules were stuck on the fridge.

Now, you should know that I don't gamble. Don't really drink. Get grossed-out by massive amounts of food. Don't own any bedazzled clothes. But here I am. Having fun in Vegas!

We have seen two shows, Wayne Brady is the most talented person on earth. We have gambled a little, I'm even. I stood behind Debbie Reynolds (she is very tiny). We have eaten some good food. We have walked and walked and walked. We have held hands. It has been a relaxing trip so far.

Although, I really need to write a few letters. Where are the recycling bins? They could make the recyling bins gold, shiny, shaped like flying monekeys. Whatever would make them "blend in" in Vegas.

One and a half more days of vacation in Vegas. With all of the fun and relaxation I'm having, I can't wait to go home and snuggle my babies. I needed a break to be a better mummy, but I really miss them.

Off to my massage....

Field Trip

Today I took my friend, "Mary", on a field trip to Whole Foods.

Last week Mary called me up talking was too fast. "Did you know that everything is bad for you? Food, water, cleaning products, air, your house!" She was practically shrieking.

I tried my best to calm her down and get to the root of this hysteria. "Book on tape. I borrowed this book on tape from the library and all I could could do was think of you," said Mary. I wasn't sure if i should be flattered that Mary thought of me as an environmentally conscious person or someone who was going to self-destruct by being exposed to the world.

Seeing as there was no school toady... Election Day? No school? A seriously lame idea... I invited Mary and her daughter to a little field trip to Whole Foods for lunch and a little shopping.

When we pulled up to Whole Foods she immediately oohed and ahhed. "It's a grocery store," exclaimed Mary! "Umm yeah" I responded.

Choosing lunch was easy. We started with a yummy lunch of pizza, soup and sandwiches. Drinks were a little tougher. Mary had to read the bottles since she had never seen any of the drinks. Our group ended-up with chocolate milk, water, lemonade and Vitamin Water.

After lunch we slithered through the aisles chatting about all of the different products. "Oohh. I never thought of that. They sell everything."

Over and over again Mary keep saying that she just didn't know where to start. Didn't know how to begin to make her family and home healthier. She was just plain overwhelmed.

I think being overwhelmed by options is a problem for many people wanting to "go green." They see these great stories on television and in newspapers about truly green people they simply become overwhelmed.

Mary made her first steps today. A bottle of natural furniture polish, organic popcorn and a better understanding on how to green her family.

I Heart Squash Pie

My mom was raised a Yankee. Her mom was raised a Yankee. Her mom was a Yankee. And so formed a cycle.

We are thrifty but enjoy our jewelry. We truly are hard workers. We wear loafers. We eat traditional New Englady foods.

One of my favorite Yankee foods that I simply cannot wait for each year is squash pie. Not pumpkin, too stringy. Only squash will do.

Since I do not enjoy cooking, I try to buy premade foods and jazz them up whenever I can. Case in point, One Pie brand filling made in West Paris, Maine.

One Pie Squash is simply squished squash and a label with directions on how to cook the pie. The label has looked the same for as long as I can remember. This year the cooking directions seemed a little different to me. "Bake 20 minute at 375 degrees F."

After 20 minutes of cooking I still had liquid squash. So I did what any girl would do and called my mother. She didn't think that the directions seemed right, and told me to try cooking for 45 minutes. That didn't seem right either.

The I Googled the company. No website to speak of. So I looked-up the number and called the friendly folks in West Paris, Maine. The directions were in fact printed incorrectly. Too bad my pie was already in the over. Although I will be ready for Thanksgiving.



Just a side note; my grandfather was a big fan of a local Paris, ME golf course that had seven holes. The plan was that you would just play two of the holes twice. I love Yankees!

Fall Clean-up

Fall clean-up is a bummer. When you have a hubby with the back of a 96 year-old (but not the bank account) it is a serious bummer.

I have raked, mowed, weeded, fertilized (organic of course), trimmed back the perennials, brought in the umbrella, unhooked the hoses, picked-up too many black walnuts, mulched the new shrubs and emptied the rain barrel. Lots of work and lots of blisters.

Emptying the rain barrel before the hard frost really made me sad. It was completely full. There are people in Tennessee that only have water for fours hours each night. That's it. I have lots of extra water. I fell incredibly guilty just dumping my water on the lawn when it is clearly already green and happy.

Away go the gardening gloves, fertilizer (organic of course), mucky sneakers, rakes and snipers.

Here is to 11 months without fall clean-up!

I'm A Gruppie

There. I said it. I'm a gruppie.

I may have made the word up, but I can't be completely sure of that.

The word comes out of necessity. On the outside you may look at me and say "yuppie." When you get to know me you may say "granola." So I live between two worlds.

My "yuppie" friends were grossed-out when they heard I was cloth diapering my babies. They were surprised to hear that I was firmly against male and female circumcision. They were puzzled to hear that I made my own cleaning products.

My "granola" friends balked at my love for high heals and cute purses. They shrugged at my golf hobby. They never understood my trendy clothes.

Just about everyone would stare in shock when I wore my babies in their tight slings while teetering in my 4 inch healed boots.

So here I am. Caught in the middle.

What is a gruppie like me to do?

There is a lightbulb stuck over my head

So there is this light bulb stuck over my head. It is a cute, squiggly little light bulb and I can't get it off of my mind. (Picture a cartoon character, in jeans and a v-neck sweater looking very cute, with an idea)

My little brother, who has been much taller than me for some time, brought home his first CFL in middle school. My mom stuck it in the basement in one of those sockets with a pull chain. That was maybe 1990. As of last weekend, my last visit the the old homestead, it is still working great. Amazing huh?


So what happens when those little Compact Florescent Light bulbs burn out and stop working?

My first CFL burned out a few weeks ago. Ever since then, it has been on my mind....

So I called the town highway department. They had no idea what I was talking about. They told me to take the CFL back to the store. I had to calmly explain to the nice man that light bulbs do in fact burn out and it really wasn't anyone's fault. He said he would call me back.

The friendly man did in fact call me back and left a message....To tell me that I would have to drive 45 minutes in each direction on my Saturday afternoon to safely dispose of my light bulb.

Ummmmm...seriously?

Is the energy I saved from that one little light bulb greater than the emissions my station wagon would be spewing over the hour and a half of highway driving? I am still fuming over that one.

Over the next few hours I got mad and annoyed and then realized that this problem is far greater than just mine. Over the next few years thousands of CFLs will be burning out all over Connecticut and the world. Are those people going to drive an hour and a half to safely dispose of their bulb? NO!

I have always promised myself that I would allow myself to complain only once about a problem that I have not tried to fix. My one rant was up, so now I had to find a solution. Brownies.

Not the kind you eat, but the kind you brainwash. Specifically my daughter's Brownie troop. While all of the other troops are busy apple picking and selling cookies I am methodically turning my daughter's troop of girls into independent environmental activists. I have personally witnessed two of my Brownies chasing down a seven year-old in the school cafeteria for not recycling her drink container. Got to love that!

Anyway, I gave the town a call back and explained the situation and what would happen to our own little Pleasentville if every house began tossing mercury-laden CFLs into the trash. I proposed that my daughter's Brownie troop would create collection bins to be placed in the town hall, library, community center or wherever that town wanted them to be placed. No response. No call back.

I'm wondering what my next step should be. A town meeting perhaps? That sounds completely intimidating. As for now I plan on creating flyers for the library letting people know how not to dispose of Compact Fluorescent Light bulbs. Hubby thinks I'm crazy...again.